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Holding out for the Fairy Tale

It’s been awhile since I posted here. As an author in the middle of a book project, I get into my writing comas, where I binge write for days and have to remind myself to shower and eat. As a passionate emotional and mental wellness practitioner, psychiatric survivor and naturalist whose mission it is to eradicate the current cultural consensus of mental illness, I had to recognize and grab two recent opportunities that have come my way. One to help a start-up organic farm begin a therapeutic nature program and forest school. The other to assist a team in establishing a sister affiliate to the farm in the form of a wellness center delivering needed holistic services to a revitalizing community. So I’ve been busy away from the keyboard, too. Yet when my emotions run high surrounding a particular topic, I feel the need to express. Lately there seems to be an epidemic number of partners separating. There is a swiftness with how we disregard who we once cherished to move on to the next available option, either something or someone perceived as better. The word commitment, at least in terms of who we are to each other is quickly disappearing from our vocabulary. I suppose I am attuned to this phenomenon because I am seeking out a mate. I have spent a great deal of solitary time healing myself to the place where I am at last ready to experience and receive the everyday joys, so it’s time to find a play partner who will explore more of these with me. In a pool of billions, there ought to be one man who desires to get to know me face to face, look me in the eye, listen to my story and appreciate the gifts I share with the world. And who is looking for the same attention from a woman.

I’m bored hearing the excuse that relationships are complicated. They’re not if the people in them are serious about maintaining them. Sustainability is such a buzz word today in terms of climate, Earth and environment. Yet, if we don’t learn to make our relationships sustainable, what good will our perfect planet be for the future of the human species. If we don’t find a way to get along with each other harmoniously as our ancestors did, we will continue to pass on the habit of severing our most intimate relationships to the point where future generations will not create them. The concept of conflict between civilizations is creeping into individuals. It is the gradual infusion of mistrust, negativity, anxiety, fear and trauma into society. We as individuals have the power to reintroduce joy, love, optimism and hope into the picture.

It can be very simple. A woman I know has been happily married for over thirty years. She and her husband knew each other for a grand total of nine weeks before they married. They met, communicated, danced their own dance (as she describes it), kept in step and are enjoying the daily waltz that comes to them. Their marriage is not all roses, yet their mutual effort to keep the weeds out of their shared garden is. If I may reintroduce a statement that used to more often than not ring true, Happily Ever After. Because that is what they both desire and create. They make having fun with themselves and each other a priority. Another friend’s husband put it this way, “each morning when I wake up I ask myself what little way can I show my partner appreciation today?” Then he activates it. Relationships in nature are not complicated.

I believe in that happily ever after. And when that knight in shining armor comes along, if he dares to put that phone or device down long enough to take a quiet walk in nature and converse with me, what a lucky soul he will be. And so will I.


A stray cat has been wandering around the property for the past couple of years. When I see him running in the yard in the warmer months, I call out to him in the lyrical name I have given him, “Wopila Tanka” (Lakota for many thanks). He always stops and turns in response before running away again. I haven’t seen him since last fall, yet I know he has been around because his tracks have been in the snow on my back deck and front porch. The other night as I was writing at the kitchen table he surprised me by pressing his nose against the glass of my sliding glass door and peering in. When I smiled and called gently to him, he ran away. After he left, I put bowls of water and food out for him. That was four days ago. The bowls remained untouched until last night. Today when I looked out, the food bowl had been emptied. Whether by Skeezer, my daily visiting squirrel, mice or (hopefully) Wopila Tanka I do not know. It’s getting refilled today, that I do know. I need a mouser, as I definitely have critters inside. Also, I could use the company of a kitty. Animals still know that value of commitment, Smiles!

Other than that, I have lots of mourning doves at the feeder and am grateful for this perfectly mild winter that brings snow in spurts enough to decorate the landscape just enough and melts it alternately to give us the green reminders of spring.

Nurture yourself, nurture your relationships and know joy!

Love, Mary


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